Confession: as much as I love bookstagram and the friends I’ve made on that platform, I have a little bit of an anxiety attack every time I have to scroll through my comments and respond to people. That’s because I’m a deeply flawed human being and, for all the positive comments I get on a daily basis, I’m prone to fixating on the stupid ones.
So, here I am, returning to my blogging roots to tell you about all the comments that my poor husband has to hear me ranting about at the dinner table. Is it petty? Yes. Do I suspect that my fellow book bloggers also have to deal with this type of shit? Also yes.
***Warning: Strong language ahead (Sorry, Mom.)***
“What’s this book about?”
Starting with the question that annoys me the most. How the actual fuck do you think it’s easier for you to leave a comment asking me for a synopsis than Googling the book in question?
Any comment that begins with the word “actually.”
Does anything you want to hear ever follow this word? No it does not. It’s just as bad as someone starting a sentence with “Please don’t take this the wrong way,” or “No offense, but….” If you’re beginning a comment with the word actually, just know that my hackles are raised and I’m ready to be offended.
People who haven’t read the book I’m talking about, but still show up to disagree with my opinion.
After I wrote a mildly annoyed review of The Mayor of Casterbridge, I had a lovely woman leave an impassioned comment about how Thomas Hardy lived in a different time period (who knew?!) so his work deserved more respect. Well, I allowed myself to be sucked into that argument because I’m nothing if not easily provoked. After a heated back-and-forth between us, I discovered that she felt qualified to lecture me on the subject (despite the fact that I majored in 19th century literature in college) because she home schooled her kids and they read classics sometimes (that’s not 100% relevant here but I found it amusing). Oh, and she had never actually read The Mayor of Casterbridge but she wasn’t going to let a minor detail like that get in the way of her having an opinion about it.
If you’re thinking to yourself: “Wow, Jen should really stop arguing with online trolls because it’s not a good look for her,” you’re not wrong. But the most important takeaway is that SURELY you have to read a book first to have an opinion about it??? I can’t be asking for much here.
Mostly, I assume that an all emoji comment is from a bot. But every once in awhile someone I know I will just leave a string of emojis and I’m...confused about the etiquette. Like the comment? Comment with more emojis? Tbh it all feels like a massive waste of time.
“How do you have time to read this much?”
Oh, I don’t know….how do you have time to be this passive-aggressive? We make time for the things that matter most to us, I guess.
People ranting about how much they hate one of the books I’m planning to read.
This is so fucking rude. If I’m excited to read a book, can you please keep your strong opinions to yourself at least until after I’ve finished it? If you regularly engage in this behavior, may I please suggest/request that you move to Twitter, where you will find no shortage of comrades with strong opinions and zero manners.
“I’m so jealous.”
There is absolutely no way to respond to someone saying they’re jealous of my home library without sounding like an utter snob. I used to just “like” these comments because I had no response for them, but then I realized it looked like I wanted people to be jealous of me, so now I don’t respond at all. And yes, I realize I’ve put way too much thought into this.
“Too many to count.”
I get this comment all the time, usually when I ask a question like “Who are some bookstagrammers you love?” or “What are your favorite classics?” and it makes me crazy. Why even take the time to leave a comment about how you have too many options to list so you’re not going to list anything at all? Your comment has effectively cancelled itself out and congratulations you’ve wasted everyone’s time.
International folks who leave passive aggressive comments on my US-only giveaways.
I’M SORRY THE PUBLISHER IS BEING STINGY OK???? It was not my personal decision.
I absolutely hate it when people “like” someone else’s mean comment, but they don’t have the guts to leave their own. Nothing says “I’m rude, but I’m also spineless” so succinctly.
Annnnd that’s it. If you’re feeling personally called out by any of this please don’t slide into my DMs to defend yourself. Just rant about it to your significant other, like a normal person. ;)